Do you remember any moment in your life that you found yourself standing, perched precariously on precipice of the great unknown?  Do you remember how you had the choice to take the path on the left or the right….or maybe the path down the middle? And what weighed on your decision?  Was it the health of a loved one…the fulfillment of your hearts deeper vision vs. the goals of your mind…the future place you’d call home…or a million things that we’ll never know….

Today’s project was about meeting this moment in one young woman’s life…Capturing the fear of unknown and converting it into a fuel more powerful than any man’s greatest imaginings…About standing on that edge of the universe and diving, with wings spread wide and strong, into what she wants to create for herself, for her world…

Hannah is almost 22 years old, about to graduate soon from the University of Colorado, Boulder, at the top of her class… in so many ways.  I am honored to be named her ‘Gaiam Guardian Guider’, like god parents for tree-huggers…We are known as the G’cubed for short… A title that my husband and I shamelessly self appointed ourselves with years ago.  Hannah, and her sister Abby, have found a very precious and sweet little nook in our heart over the years; we trust us in theirs as well…And the once self appointed title, made in a moment of laughter and lightheartedness, has taken root…and means something deeper these days…

And as roots grow, so does our desire to support both womyn be the very most amazing they want to be….Today was about Hannah and where she is going…and the great unknown that holds her right now.

For Hannah it is not a question of her capacity to achieve.  She has already proven to the world her prowess of determination, and her potential to do….amazing things… But it comes back to those moments where we stand, staring into the vastness of the universe, dark and seemingly void…(but in truth just awaiting our directive)…So here she is, wondering what does her future hold?  What does she want to see painted on the canvas of her life?  I could see the anticipation of uncertainty in her eyes… So while she was home for holiday I offered her an idea…To articulate what that is…in the form of art.  To create a tactile example of what she hopes her future will hold…

If you’ve read my profile you’ll know that I have a history in art.  A history that continually offers it’s potential in my work as a holistic healthcare provider, yet until now has lay dormant.  I have dreams that I will be able to weave my work as an Ayurvedic Practitioner with my love of art…Taking the wisdom of an ancient healing science and applying it with textiles, paints, glue and other majickal things… Hannah was the first recipient of this vision, woven perfectly into the ‘Ordinary Days’ Project.  And I could never imagine a more beautiful ‘first time’…I always tell my students,, as they begin their clinical work, take a moment to pause and remember their first patient… “Breathe in what this means to you and honor it” I recommend…how this moment feels.  It is like a first kiss….you will never have it again, and no matter how perfect or not it is ,the majick of this first experience is something that creates the foundation of all your days ahead…

So I breathe…and dive into the moment with Hannah… As she stands, moments away from being thrust out the nest that college has built around her…and even with its insanity, the comfort and stability it brings… We took this on in exercises that involved meditation, free writing and then lots of glue…I first asked her to take a moment to call in her higher power, to find the place of inner silence, where the whisper of our heart sings freely…believing in the strength this will infuse into her project..and then asked her to free write…words, sentences, thoughts…on what are her hopes and dreams.   And then we would come to the play… digging through piles of magazine clippings, finding the images, the words, that represent her dreams…The whole time I could see in her eyes the perfect balance of youthful optimism and wisdom… of a woman knowing that her power to weave her wildest imaginings lay, just there, inside herself.

While she “checked in” as I call it, while she free wrote, I mostly left her alone in my studio…gave her space to be, without anyone’s energy but her own, but yet held in the most safest of ways…and when I returned she was still feverishly writing…this girl’s got some ideas!…and then came the sorting of images, the layering of them together…creating the collage of her life as it were….and finally, the glue…art and a healing of sorts began to find their way into the world together…And I worked on some of my own projects in the meanwhile…there must have been something in the air~ 😉  Coincidence that the two projects I was wrapping up while she was there were ones that reflect on metamorphosis and what a ‘wish’ can mean?  not in this girls book…

As our time together nestled in the majick of art could not last forever, and circumstance brought her sister and her other G-cubed (my husband) to the studio…Maybe it’s a bit like moths to the flame, with less tragic endings?   I could wish for us to have had more time …For me to have more keenly noted the potential of having all four of us gathered, and asked for us to hold a closing circle of energy around her creation…For me, to take a final moment of breathing it all in…For us to have been able to chat longer about what it meant for her to do this project…the nature of her dreams…

But I am learning already in this project just how much it is about….learning…and how to attune my inner ears…and how it’s all perfect, just as it is…and how I am grateful to have found the special sparkles to add at the very end… 😉 So for you my sweet Hannah Banana…remember that the future is a gift ready to be had…just waiting for you to pull the ribbon and unwrap it in all the glory it holds….faerie glitter, fierce conviction, humbleness, wisdom, love….and all…

“let this be your story

of love spinning free,

by the light of the moon and wisdom of the flowing sea…

allow yourself to stumble softly,

fallin’ into the sweet embrace of the open arms

of what is meant to be.

 

and only you know

where

to

start,

held deep inside your heart.”

~Bmarie

Hannah’s Dreams