This post is dedicated to my amazing father…who has taught me SO much in life…including how to let go, and how to live in the moment, with total gusto…

…So, one might think that giving an extra pair of thermal pants to a sweet, beautiful friend would be a simple, easy thing…I know I did…until the third day of this project…

Regardless of this project, It was a sort of mission I had to help my friend Carrie (who somewhat recently replanted herself here in the mountains) get outfitted with all things outdoor cozy…I don’t know why I was so intent on it…Maybe because I love her! 🙂 Maybe because I wanted someone to wear faerie wings and tutu’s when we went skiing, and Kev just wasn’t budging on the subject.  Maybe because I feel it’s every human’s right to experience a warm bum while gliding gracefully through the back country on skis… Either way, I wanted to help her out if I could.  But I’m not really a gear junkie, and don’t have a sweet little surplus of “Pata-Gucci” clothes to give her…But I scanned the inventory that I did have…some extra gloves…a well loved down vest….ski pants that probably weren’t the right size…hmmm.  Nothing seemed like it was quite what she needed.  Then I remembered the extra pair of thermal pants…. I had two, the exact same brand and style… I don’t even remember how I ended up with two…But what I do remember is what happened when I went to get the second pair out to give her…

…I approached the closet with great joy in finally figuring out what I could share to help keep her warm, but things quickly changed…I was suddenly flooded with what my dad and I call the ‘sears socks syndrome’….It’s a kind of interesting phenomenon that is experienced when you find that one perfect ‘thing’ you’ve been searching for, and you buy a stockpile of it, just to make sure that you don’t run out…. While some might call it proper planning, I think it’s really a questionable habit of consumerism based in fear…Anyhoo, the background to the story comes from my father, who, during his decades as a UPS driver had to wear a specific type/color of socks..Apparently it’s harder than you might think to find that “just right” pair. So my father tells me of how sometime along the way he found them, and practically bought stock in them.  And there they sat, all the extra pairs in their perfectly packaged glory, safe in his dresser drawer.  And because he took such great care, or maybe because he had bought so many, they lasted for a long time.  So long in fact, that they outlasted his career with UPS.  On the day he retired he went to that dresser drawer and pulled out at least a weeks worth of perfectly paired brown socks, still in their original Sears packaging…and he laughed..fairly sure that knee high cotton/poly chocolate brown socks weren’t going to be the next big fashion and he now had a lot of sock with little to do with them… He told me this story to teach me not to hold onto something for tomorrow unnessarialy…To seize what we have in today, and to wear the s#^@ out of our socks, in a way…And don’t buy, borrow, or keep what you don’t need.

So I was experiencing the ‘sears socks syndrome’ suddenly as I stood holding the perfect white thermals….I had thoughts rushing through my head…”what if I loose my other pair?” “What if they wear out, get a hole or tear?” “What if I have a friend come into town and we want to go build snow people, how will they stay warm?” “WHAT if I want to run around with one pair on my bottoms and the other tied around my head,…just for fun?”….Things were getting dangerous in my hall closet suddenly.  Then it was as if a pair of brown knee high socks slapped me across the face and shook me back to reality….Whew, that was close.  So, Carrie got her thermals, tied with a sweet red ribbon and a sprig of cedar tree for fun… A warm bum awaits her near future snow adventures…now for the tutu…

And for me….I felt liberated inside.  Grateful to observe how we all have those moments of “what ifs”, and how amazing it feels when we don’t let that own the show…It’s easy to give what we don’t need… But to give what some part of us is clinging to (no matter how ridiculous that attachment is) THIS is where the real majick sparkles and we feel alive… So today is about challenging my tendency of attachment, and empowering the feeling of giving, more than the feeling of needing fueled by a dangerous blend of “what if’s”…